Yer’ve Got Fucking Great Teeth

Yer’ve Got Fucking Great Teeth is the new album from Robin Guthrie, a follow-up to his rock-de-force ‘Imperial’ and ‘Vimto Has It’s Merits But It’s Still Shite’. We were lucky enough to interview the man himself, asking him about his new album and how life in general has been treating him.

Drunken Hero : Alright Bob?

Robin : Don’t call me Bob you fucknut.

Drunken Hero : Sorry, can I call you Guthers?

Robin : I don’t particularly care…….

Drunken Hero : Alright Guthers, what have you been at recently?

Robin : ~looks perplexed. stops before answering~ Is that meant to be a trick question?

Drunken Hero : No…………I was just asking for fucks sake. Look there’s no need to be so bloody uptight! I just want to know how the recording of the album went.

Robin : It went well. That’s all you need to know.

Drunken Hero : Alright………..I’ve heard you live in France these days, have you seen Eric Cantona about at all?

Robin : For fucks sake.

Drunken Hero : What?

Robin : I’m starting to wonder why the fuck I came here, you’ve asked me nothing but shite so far…….

Drunken Hero : Well to be fair Robin, you’ve shot me down everytime I’ve tried to steer the conversation towards the new album, which is why you are here. What else am I meant to ask you about?

Robin : ~stares blankly~

Drunken Hero : Alright, how did you come up with the title for the album?

Robin : Can we get back to Eric Cantona?

Drunken Hero : I thought you didn’t want to talk about him………….

Robin : I do now, thats all that matters.

Drunken Hero : Ok, do you know whats with his new look? He’s beginning to look more and more like Gary Sinise out of Forrest Gump every day. After he got his legs chopped off that is. Are you a big fan of his work?

Robin : Who Sinise or Cantona?

Drunken Hero : Cantona.

Robin : No, he was shite.

Drunken Hero : I see…………Have you been listening to any new music recently?

Robin : Not really, I’ve no time.

Drunken Hero : Ok. Do you mind if I ask you a question about the Cocteau Twins?

Robin : Ok…..

Drunken Hero : How did you get that guitar noise in Wax and Wane on Garlands? It sounds like someones wanking off a tiger with a wheel brace in an alleyway.

Robin : Next question.

Drunken Hero : Would you like to hear a recording I made?

Robin : Not particularly.

Drunken Hero : I think you’d like it, it’s a short Garlands medley.

Robin : I don’t particularly care. Play it if you must.

Drunken Hero : Ok I will. ~plays Garlands medley~

Robin : Ok. If you stop playing that shite I’ll allow you to ask me about the album, Ok?

Drunken Hero : Righto. Who produced the album?

Robin : ~enraged~ Who the fuck do you think produced it?

Drunken Hero : I was only asking………

Robin : Next question.

Drunken Hero : When was the last time you visited East Kilbride?

Robin : ….Why the fuck would I want to visit that shithole?

Drunken Hero : I don’t know, isn’t that where you came from?

Robin : Are you trying to be funny?

Drunken Hero : No, I’ve been told that about 95% of all of the bands who came out of Scotland in the early 80’s were from East Kilbride. I assumed………

Robin : Well whoever told you was fucking wrong.

Drunken Hero : Right….so where did you come from?

Robin : Falkirk

Drunken Hero : Ah they have a football team there don’t they?

Robin : Yeah.

Drunken Hero : And they are pretty shit aren’t they?

Robin : No. Yeah. Actually I don’t care. Next question.

Drunken Hero : Would you consider joining the Jesus and Mary Chain if they reformed?

Robin : No.

Drunken Hero : For fucks sake. Why am I even bothering here? Do you fancy going down to the local to hassle some broads?

Robin : No.

Drunken Hero : Ok, do you fancy coming down to the local and watch me hassle some broads?

Robin : No.

Drunken Hero : If you say no one more time, I’m gonna put that fucking Garlands medley on again.

Robin : Do it if you want, I’m leaving.

Drunken Hero : Aye well then, fuck off. And I hope your album charts at Number 1001010101001!

Robin : Are you starting?

Drunken Hero : No.

Robin : It sounds like it.

Drunken Hero : Well you must be fucking deaf.

Robin : Are you questioning my ability to create music?

Drunken Hero : No I’m just saying that you are fucking deaf.

Robin : Well I’m not. I’m away here. And by the way it’s impossible for my album to chart at 1001010101001. Theres only a Top 40 in England.

Drunken Hero : Aye well, there you go. You learn something new every day don’t you?

Robin : Aye.

~Guthers at this point storms out and is never to be seen again by me~