Doherty - apparently he was sober as "a fucking judge"
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Earlier this morning a top BBC reporter found Babyshambles frontman Pete Doherty stalking the Soho area of London completely fucking sober.
The troubled rockstar was apparently searching for a burger or a kebab.
BBC man Bob McBojit encountered Doherty whilst out pestering rent boys for sex.
He spotted the waif-like musician out of the corner of his eye and immediately anticipated trouble however he was surprised to find the rockstar to be moderately coherent and mildly mannered.
This is directly after a spate of incidents which have seen Doherty's reputation slip from "pasty fucking scagbag" to "pasty-as-fuck fucking scumbag".
A fucking miracle
Police are fucking baffled by Doherty's sobriety and are currently running drugs tests on the Londoner to check if he really is clean.
Keith O'Cunt from the Metropolitian Police stated "We have a bet going on in the office that the fucker's on something. I mean how could he possibly be so pasty if he is completely clean?".
"If he's completely drug free I owe my superintendent a curry at Wetherspoons".
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