Peter Hook Of Hooky Goth Division

Name : Peter Hook

Goth Name : Widehook

Rank : Lieutenant-Colonel

Joined the forces : 1976

You probably had already suspected it. And it will not come as a big shock to you that the Hookster is in fact a massive Goth. If you’ve heard of any of New Order’s recent performances you will have noticed how they seem to be rather unwilling to play any New Order material. It is Hook’s mission to transport the band back to 1979 so that he can become the new divaesque gloom merchant of the band.

Hooky is the head Goth chef. He’s been practising food preparation for over two decades yet he still cannot master the cheese toastie much to Robert Smith’s annoyance. Smith who is eager to see Pete produce some good grub for once has invested in over £10,000 worth of kitchen equipment, cooking lessons and recipe books for the New Order bassist, without any noticable improvement in his cooking ability.

He’s basically shit 10 grand down the bowl. Imagine how many big macs he could have bought with that? Those would have kept Bob going for just over a fortnight. Now he going to be left hungry forever until the Goths manage to bring in a semi competent chef and frankly what are the odds of that? Most Gothic types love being starved, they love the eroticism behind it all and as much as they may complain about their rumbling bellys deep inside they want Hooky’s tenure as head chef to last forever if possible.