Against Fox Hunting? So Are The Dogs And They’re Stupid!

If there is one thing that bores me it is the great fox hunting debate. To me it is completely irrelevant as there are no hunts that that have been held in Northern Ireland to the best of my knowledge. Which is a pity as like the bull run it has great potential for entertainment.

From what I’ve seen from television I do not believe that it should be the foxes being persued. Foxes are great, sure they may have a reputation for massacring farm animals but that gives them something in common with humans.

There is a reasonable to good chance that this man is a cunt.

Now, to concentrate on the humans for a moment. First things first, the outfits need to go. Who ever thought up the hunt costumes should be brought in front of the court of law and royally shat upon. By a great big dove of justice. They are absoutely horrendous looking. Are they really trying to look ike English soldiers going to battle with Napoleon? Anyway……

People who take part in the hunt will be obligated to wear a t-shirt with an image of a massive t-bone steak on it. This shirt must be left overnight in a barrel full of steak. The reason for which shall become evident within time.

The new premise for the run is this. Someone starts the hunt with a starting pistol and the humans are given 1 minute to run as fast as they possibly can to a place of safety. After that minute expires the dogs and foxes alike are released after the humans.

The hunt could be made all the more interesting by adopting the philosophy applied to the 3 legged race ala tie their legs together and watch them tumble. Fox Hunting would instantly become a sport of bravery, skill and gut churning hilarity. And a sport which could be introduced to school sport days as well!

If you are wheelchair bound and wish to take part in the hunt a downhill race could take place too. The rules are quite similiar only the wheelchair itself is put into a large vat of beef instead of the shirt. Although I guess it could be arranged for the shirt to be dipped in too.

Once the pistol is blown the person in the wheelchair is flung down the hill by a hunt steward and after 2 minutes the animals are let loose. As foxes and dogs are frustrating dim creatures they will attempt to devour the wheelchair instead of the person in it. That is assuming that the person has managed to stay in the wheelchair on the voyage downhill.