Crossing Over To Talk-Talk – Bye Bye BT
Author: Drunken Hero
So it seems as if my family have been reeled in by all of this free broadband malarkey offered by Carphone Warehouse through their Talk-Talk service. I’d be indifferent about it if it weren’t for the fact that I had the opportunity to ring BT to request a MAC code. How I fucking love ringing BT. I’ve inherited this all from my mother who loves hollering down the phone to the bastards!
Anywhooo, I gave them a call and I’m was put through to this eager sounding woman. I could tell she was fat. I think it was the shallowness of her breath. Anyway I asked for a MAC code. And she responded with a “Why?”. A good start. I knew fun and games were ahead. I had to restrain myself from screaming “Because yer fucking shite luv! ” down the phone at her but I wasn’t prepared to lower myself to such levels. I leave such tomfoolery to my mother.
I told her I just wanted to leave BT and asked again for a code. She put me on hold for 3 minutes. Then she asked me “Are you moving to Talk Talk?” and just to stir shit I replied with a resounding YES. What followed was a barrage of questions similar in structure and in content to the following “Do you realise Talk-Talk are shite? Do you realise that they shit on their customers from a great height sir? Do you know it costs 50p a minute to ring their legal team Sir?” “Do you realise that if you leave us now we will send around the boys to knock your cunt in?”
I took such delight in responding yes to every question. I wasn’t listening at all. She could have been telling me that Talk-Talk will start sending me live uncorked alligators through the post each and every month and I would not have cared. I was feeding off her exasperation. She knew I was a lost cause and I was rubbing it in.
Cut to a few days later……..
Tonight we were sitting down for our tea and the phone rings. My mother picks up. Its BT and by the sounds of it, it’s the same woman as before, with the same list of questions. I was surprised that the old-girl kept her cool. She just told them “Look luv, I’m not interested, I’m at my fucking spuds and I’m watching Midsommer Murders re-runs. Now leave me in peace” and down went the phone.
Several minutes later the telephone starts again. It’s BT again. This time it’s a nervous sounding man with a slight country accent. It seems that BT are playing silly buggers with us as he is reading off the same list that the other girl was. I know whats gonna happen next as I can see my mothers face turn purple. She stands there, clenching both her jaw and fists waiting for her moment to pounce like a big-fucking-tiger.
And it comes “Yer girl was only on the phone 2 fucking minutes ago! What do you mean what Girl? That fucking BT girl with the same fucking questions. Aye. I’m not answering any more, ye fucking wanker”. At this point the young man stops and whispers a meek “Pardon?” and my ma retalliates with a “You fucking heard me. Bye” before slamming down the phone.
I do hope they ring again. I do fear for the next poor bastard though.
6 Responses for "Crossing Over To Talk-Talk – Bye Bye BT"
You know, you do seem like a bit of cock yourself. I work for Bt myself and nobody hates them more than me….there’s only one thing that pisses me off more than BT, people like you, treating innocent people who are just doing a job like shit. do we dictate Bt’s prices…No, do we dictate who BT phone and when they phone…No! Do we wanna talk to ignorant cock’s like you, Not one bit more than you do. Maybe next time you start being a wanker down the phone to people who are just doing a job you’ll begin to realise that the person you’re treating like shit is doing a job to support a family, is a student doing a job to bring in money to keep his/her head above finanical water. I would love for one of you stuck up pricks to try doing a job like ours and see how you like the abuse.
And by the way for the record…You don’t piss us off too much, because as we’re people just like you, we end up laughing our fuck off at people like you once you hang up the phone
I’ve wanted to cut this rant for over a year now and due to the fact if i did it on the phone to the people i’d be sacked automatically
abaka, i think it’s time to get a new job. it’s obviously stressing you out. i recommend setting up a stall in galway selling beachballs to children. good money in it from what i’ve heard.
I agree with abaka, no need to act like dumb fucks over the phone, guess u r just showing how thick u all r..
Haha.. I had some laughs reading this. I’m with BT at the moment, have been for 3 months (18 month contract) and already want to leave! I was stopped by some guy from Talk Talk in tesco and asked me “are you with bt” I said yes (how did you know? the look on my face?) I couldnt beleave how much i could save! I have a question if i left BT and go with Talk Talk could BT cut my line off for not paying?
i am with talk talk they are not as cheap as you think. i have had nothing but problems and been overcharged alot. the grass is not greener over here and i have been with bt, and thet are pants to my advice is stay where you are
I am sorry but with me the boot is on the other foot TaklTalk took over Tiscali and tried to double my cost for the broadband I was using .They are only interested in customers who want to use their phone lines so they get the rental . If they provide stand alone broadband the prices are extortionate .I have just signed with BT and I must say it’s the best days work I ever done .all the contact numbers are free not premium rate and their service to me at least is second to none . I even have a free second phone line .I was employed by BT for over 20 years and worked in the faults dept .Over this time I had my share of abuse from customers ,but the moment I heard foul language the phone went down .They soon realized that after waiting another 45mins to get through again this was not their best course of action..
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