I do not have time for self righteous pop-stars. Particularly ones that are talentless. Andy McCluskey of Orchestral Manoeuvres in the Dark matches both criteria well.

Why does he irk me so you ask? Well for one his music is shite and his lyrics are even worse.

He used to rabbit on in the early days of OMD about how he was so different just because he could write love songs about power stations.

Andrew darling, there are reasons why people stick to tried and tested songwriting formulas and that is to ensure that they do not write shite love songs about fucking power stations! If you are going to try to be original write a song about the Queens corgis, Jupiter or Mars Bars.

OMD are one of those bands that have dated badly. Listening to one of their records now gives one a perfect insight into why the 80’s were shite. ‘Enola Gay’ for example, gives me a mental image of sniffing crotches of sweaty spandex donning dance instructors from 80’s lifestyle TV shows.

What is worst of all about McCluskey is his fanbase. Most OMD fans run about The Wirral attempting to hug telephone boxes and get their fellow Cluskers comrades to photograph their antics.

Why? Fuck knows. I think if you listen to too many OMD records you begin to lose the will to live, the mind is then next to go and then all of a sudden you are enticed by the prospect of fucking McCluskey and/or trying to find as many phone boxes as you can within an hour. And then attempting to beat that record again.

Moreover police in 25 different states in America have warrants for his arrest after a massive wave of suicides hit America at the height of the OMD epidemic. Apparently vulnerable teenagers were trying to club themselves to death with telephone receivers in droves. Scientists have since proved without doubt that the banality of the OMD sound is directly attributable for more than 97% of the cases.

Finally McCluskey is apparently from Liverpool but there are no redeemable Scouser qualities. He does not have a moustache. He does not have a sense of humour. And moreover he has not got a comic accent. He sounds like what he is. A right pompous prick.